Reflection

Nowadays after releasing games, I like to reflect on exactly how I am feeling. I imagine there will be a part two after this some weeks or months from now, after my moment of spotlight dies down haha. I will bask in this spotlight, however brief it may be. It is so nice. The sun is shining down on me. This has never happened before.

Anyway, I really wanted to voice my thank yous for the wonderful support I've gotten. I had pretty low expectations for any kind of release of Meat Girl as I am a very small artist and developer.. I usually get a few comments, mostly from from friends. If I'm in a jam, I'll get comments from other jam participants I've been socializing with too. But Meat Girl has outranked the popularity of my other games in a very short amount of time. I am pleased! I am surprised! It's funny as I watched Look Back recently and I had just gotten comfortable with making games just for me and my friends and a few people who enjoy them only for this to happen.

It's funny too because the day after releasing Meat Girl, I got very sick. I'm actually in bed writing this surrounded by tissues.  So in an alternate universe, I didn't finish Meat Girl and it sits on my computer unreleased and I'm coughing up phlegm and really angry about it. There's actually still little issues in Meat Girl I'm aware of but I am simply too sick to fix them.

Okay let's get back to the topic at hand. I'll talk about my inspirations okay?

So, it's very obvious I took inspiration from my friend Io AKA Waxwing (the creator of Flesh Blood and Concrete). I've always been fascinated by the meat structures she draws, and seeing her draw those structures gave me an interest in the aesthetic of meat in places it shouldn't be.

I started seeing meat in other places (isn't that funny). I was reading SCPs at one point and found out about Sarkicism, which is like this cult in the SCP stories that worships sickness of the flesh or something. Frustratingly, most of the Sarkic SCPs don't actually interest me very much HAHA, but there is one..American Meat. Here's a reading of it and a direct link to the SCP page. I loved it. I adored it. I listened to it multiple times and realized I needed to tell some kind of story about meat then and there..

I also played The Front Yard a bit later which caused me to fall further into the "I need to tell a story about meat" rabbit hole. It also made me remember American Meat and listen to it over and over again.

My biggest inspiration of all was actually a nosleep story called the Bleeding Tree I read a very long time ago. It never really left me, and this story has many callbacks to it. I implore you to read it.

Oh one last thing lol. I started playing games by racheldrawsthis which caused me to view the RPG Maker MV engine in an entirely different way. I tend to mostly be inspired by games that follow the.. Formula of RPG Maker classics (the classics Yume Nikki, Mad Father, Misao, etc etc), but playing her games kind of resulted in my third eye opening haha.

I just wanted to highlight a lot of stories and creators that you should play the games of. You've fallen for my trap x)

Anyway, here's some bonus art.

I started drawing random images of Vivian  without a story in mind other than the phrases "meat," "god," and "cult." Here are some of those pictures.





There's some other things. Meat Girl is connected to my other stories, but there's so many new players that a lot of you do not know what I am referencing in some of the writing haha! But I love exploring organic structures and angelhood- you understand the appeal yes? Perhaps not. There's a big section in my next game releasing in December dedicated to these thoughts haha. Unfortunately I can't share any screenshots or inspirations from that because it isn't out yet and I am a secretive person, but you can imagine, yes?

Oh and also, Maya and the angel are characters I made for a series of drawings I created for the zine S1M*.  You can look at them there. Heart heart. I should post them on social media someday, but it feels weird to do it now..

Regarding the characters' themselves, it is a very short game, so I decided to tackle feelings and thoughts and concepts on my mind recently. Misunderstandings between mentally ill people..  Assumptions made by others.. Your actions technically not being the best but not really being morally good or bad. I've enjoyed seeing people's reactions and thoughts to the characters' behaviors! I just want to say one thing and not really disturb anyone's interpretations- I didn't really intend for anyone to be evil or good or anything, and I wasn't critiquing anyone's behavior in this story. I was just writing characters who did things that made sense to them at the time and filtering my own feelings through them. Hate anyone you like! Love anyone you like! Do whatever you want forever!

Anyway, this game really only exists because these ideas were circling around my head and then the Frigid Cold Jam was announced. I have a lot of experience mapping snowy areas, so it felt like a no brainer for me to enter and to try to get these ideas out into the world. You get me?

I also want to thank my friend's Fizzsea, Zeddybear, and Starbage, who all dealt with me being mentally ill and silly while working on this lol. I'll spare you my many doubts and anxieties I had working on Meat Girl, just know every time I work on a new game, the cycle starts anew.

Anyway, love you! Thank you for playing my game! Mushrooms are the best!