Deindexing Update + Thoughts on Despair
Here is an update on WIILLT's status and some thoughts on despair.
Itch.io staff saw this game and decided to leave it de-indexed back in August. They never responded to the support ticket I sent I guess because they didn't think it was worth going into with their current workload. It is heartbreaking to me, but it is how things go with these large businesses. I'd rather not rely on them, but unfortunately it's how things are right now. They are just another corporation in the end.
I am not going to speculate on why simply because it will do no good and I know in my heart of hearts WIILTT violates none of the rules itchio made otherwise I wouldn't be reaching out to them in the first place. I am not saying these rules are good or that I am better than others for not making certain kinds of content, but what I am saying is that regardless of if you follow the rules, you can lose.
(and from what i saw in the forums, there are devs who've already lost far more than what i can even imagine)
I was told admins were contacted, but I assume admins have been contacted quite a bit in recent times. With all of those contacts, I have to accept I'm a nobody who is at the back of the pile. I'm a randomly mentally ill girl who made silly eroge about a cat nurse/maid and her out of it yuri translator caretakee. It doesn't need to be discovered or made priority. It hurts a lot, but it does strengthen my resolve to keep making media for mentally ill girls forever, especially black sensitive girls like me.
I do think about taking WIILTT down a lot because of this and some other issues but every kind message means a lot to me.. Even if I turn off my comments and disable DMs or whatever other silly thing I do when I'm feeling sensitive, knowing people connect with my work, especially girls like me, really motivates me to not give into despair. And WIILTT is project I love and am very proud of. I will be forever.
Life is very hard in general, this is just a big issue for me amongst other things. The current government has given me many problems, but it's very important to me to not give into despair. My ancestors, my own grandmother, have faced far worse than everything happening to me at this moment, and I can't give up knowing the sacrifices they made. And despair, hopelessness, it's the enemy of progress, even if it is felt strongly at times. It's very hard though. I do lose it, often publicly even, but I just have to keep moving. I feel miserable, but I think about what my parents' parents' parents' would say if I gave up, if I lied in my bed and decided to never move again, and I feel deep shame.
No one in the world has ever fought for me, so I have to fight for myself and my sisters. Life gets hard every century but has gotten okay each time because of community efforts, so please do not give up! Everything is so awful, but things have been awful before. We didn't live through them. Things like punk grew out of those times. What will grow out of this? I really hope it's something beautiful!
thank you io for drawing aiyana so beautifully
edit: here are stats so you can understand the drastic decrease post deindexing. WIILTT had some momentum even after being deindexed due to the power of yuri, but it fell rather quickly.